雅思写作任务一（Task 1）要求考生在20分钟内完成一篇不少于150词的图表描述，许多考生认为小作文难度较低，但想要拿到高分，仍需掌握清晰的写作逻辑、准确的词汇运用和恰当的句型结构，本文将通过一篇高分范文解析，帮助考生理解雅思小作文的评分标准及写作技巧。
高分范文示例
** 以下柱状图展示了某国家2000年与2010年五种能源（煤炭、石油、天然气、核能、可再生能源）的消费比例变化，请进行描述。
范文：
The bar chart compares the proportion of energy consumption from five different sources in a particular country between 2000 and 2010.
In 2000, coal was the most widely used energy source, accounting for 40% of total consumption, followed by oil at 30%. Natural gas and nuclear energy contributed 15% and 10% respectively, while renewables made up the smallest share at just 5%.
By 2010, significant changes had occurred. Coal usage dropped to 30%, while oil remained stable at around 30%. Natural gas saw a notable increase to 25%, and nuclear energy rose slightly to 12%. The most dramatic growth was in renewable energy, which tripled to 15%.
Overall, while fossil fuels (coal and oil) still dominated energy consumption in both years, their combined share decreased from 70% to 60%. Meanwhile, cleaner energy sources, particularly renewables, gained prominence over the decade.
范文解析
开头段：清晰概述图表内容
高分小作文的开头段需简洁明了，直接点明图表类型、数据范围及核心信息，避免照抄题目，而是用同义替换和概括性语言：
- 原题：柱状图展示了某国家2000年与2010年五种能源的消费比例变化
- 改写：The bar chart compares the proportion of energy consumption from five different sources...
技巧：
- 使用compare, illustrate, show等动词描述图表功能。
- 避免重复题目词汇，如“change”可替换为shift, variation, trend。
主体段：数据对比与趋势描述
主体段需按逻辑顺序呈现数据，通常采用时间、类别或数值大小作为划分依据，本文按能源类型分段，并突出对比2000年与2010年的变化：
（1）数据选取与排序
- 优先描述占比最大或最小的数据（如2000年煤炭40%，可再生能源5%）。
- 使用followed by, respectively, while等连接词，使行文流畅。
（2）趋势描述词汇
- 上升：increase, rise, grow, climb
- 下降：decrease, decline, drop, fall
- 稳定：remain stable, stay constant
- 剧烈变化：dramatic, significant, sharp
（3）数据变化幅度表达
- 小幅变化：slightly, modestly, marginally
- 大幅变化：notably, significantly, dramatically
- 倍数关系：double, triple, halve（如renewables tripled to 15%）
结尾段：总结核心趋势
结尾无需提出新数据，而是概括图表最突出的特征，本文强调化石燃料占比下降与清洁能源增长：
- Overall, while fossil fuels still dominated... their combined share decreased...
- Meanwhile, cleaner energy sources... gained prominence...
技巧：
- 使用Overall, In summary等过渡词。
- 避免简单重复数据，而是提炼趋势（如“清洁能源占比提升”）。
常见错误与改进建议
错误1：数据描述不准确
- 低分表达：Oil was about 30% in 2000 and stayed the same.
- 高分改进：Oil consumption remained stable at approximately 30% over the decade.
错误2：过度使用简单句
- 低分表达：Coal was 40% in 2000. It dropped to 30% in 2010.
- 高分改进：Coal, which accounted for 40% in 2000, experienced a decline to 30% by 2010.
错误3：遗漏关键对比
- 低分表达：Renewables increased from 5% to 15%.
- 高分改进：Renewables, the least utilized source in 2000, tripled their share to 15% in 2010, marking the most significant growth among all energy types.
高分句型与词汇
占比表达
- Account for: Coal accounted for 40% of total consumption.
- Make up: Renewables made up only 5% in 2000.
- Contribute to: Natural gas contributed 15% to the energy mix.
趋势句型
- There was a + adj. + noun + in...: There was a dramatic rise in renewable energy usage.
- The figure for... + verb + adv.: The figure for nuclear energy rose slightly.
- ...while/whereas...: Coal usage fell by 10%, whereas natural gas increased by 10%.
比较结构
- Higher/lower than: Oil consumption in 2010 was slightly higher than in 2000.
- Similar to: The proportion of oil in 2010 was similar to that in 2000.
个人观点
雅思小作文的高分关键在于精准的数据描述、清晰的逻辑结构和丰富的词汇语法，考生应避免机械罗列数字，而是通过对比、趋势分析和恰当衔接词展现语言能力，建议多分析官方范文，积累高分表达，并在练习中模拟考试时间限制,提升写作效率。
