雅思写作一直是考生们最关注的模块之一,而前考官Simon的范文因其逻辑清晰、语言地道，成为许多考生学习的范本，本文将对Simon的一篇大作文范文进行深度解析，帮助考生掌握高分写作的核心技巧。
回顾
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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Simon范文立场：
同意社区服务应成为高中必修课程，并给出具体理由。
范文结构与逻辑分析
开头段（Introduction）
Simon的开头段简洁明了,直接回应题目：
"It is sometimes argued that high school students should be required to do unpaid work in their local communities. I completely agree with this idea, as it would benefit both individuals and society as a whole."
解析：
- 明确立场：直接表明完全同意，避免模棱两可。
- 概括理由：点出对个人和社会都有益，为下文展开铺垫。
主体段1：对个人的益处
"Firstly, compulsory community service would help young people to develop important life skills. For example, volunteering at a local charity shop could teach students how to handle responsibility, manage their time, and work as part of a team. These skills are not always acquired in the classroom, yet they are essential for success in later life."
解析：
- 主题句清晰：直接点明社区服务能培养生活技能。
- 举例具体：以慈善商店为例，说明责任、时间管理和团队合作能力的培养。
- 联系实际：强调这些技能在课堂中学不到，但对未来至关重要。
主体段2：对社会的益处
"Secondly, making community service compulsory would ensure that society benefits from young people’s energy and enthusiasm. High school students are a valuable resource, and their voluntary efforts could be directed towards improving the local area. Tasks such as cleaning up parks or tutoring younger children would have a positive impact on the whole community."
解析：
- 逻辑递进：从个人转向社会，体现论证层次。
- 具体任务举例：清理公园、辅导儿童，使论证更生动。
- 强调价值：突出年轻人的活力和热情对社会的重要性。
主体段3：反驳潜在反对意见
"Some might argue that forcing students to work without pay is unfair. However, I believe that the benefits of such a scheme would outweigh any drawbacks. Students would not be exploited, as the work would be limited to a few hours per week, and the experience gained would be invaluable."
解析：
- 预判反驳：提到“无偿工作不公平”的可能反对意见。
- 有效回应：强调时间有限且收获大于付出，增强说服力。
结尾段（Conclusion）
"In conclusion, I strongly support the idea of compulsory community service for high school students. Not only would it equip them with practical skills, but it would also enrich society as a whole."
解析：
- 重申立场：再次明确支持态度。
- 总结要点：概括个人和社会两方面的好处，简洁有力。
高分语言亮点
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词汇多样性：
- 避免重复使用“important”，改用“essential”“valuable”“invaluable”。
- “benefit”的同义替换：“enrich”“have a positive impact”。
-
句式灵活：
- 使用条件句：“If students were required to…, they would…”
- 被动语态：“Tasks could be directed towards…”体现客观性。
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衔接自然：
- 逻辑连接词：“Firstly”“Secondly”“However”使行文流畅。
- 代词指代明确：“such a scheme”指代前文提到的社区服务计划。
考生常见问题与改进建议
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问题：论证空洞
- 错误示范：
“Community service is good because it helps students.” - 改进方法：
像Simon一样具体化，如“teaching sports to children improves leadership skills”。
- 错误示范：
-
问题：忽略反驳段
- 许多考生只写支持观点,但高分作文需展现辩证思维。
- 模仿Simon用“Some might argue…, but…”结构增强说服力。
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问题：语言重复
- 错误示范：多次使用“good”或“important”。
- 改进方法：积累同义词，如“beneficial”“crucial”“significant”。
个人观点
Simon的范文再次证明,高分写作不在于复杂词汇或长句堆砌，而在于清晰的逻辑、具体的例证和地道的表达，考生应重点学习其段落展开方式，尤其是如何用简单语言传递深刻观点，社区服务的确能 bridging the gap between education and real-world challenges, 而高中阶段正是培养公民责任感的黄金时期。
