雅思写作一直是考生备考中的难点,尤其是Task 2议论文部分,剑桥雅思真题系列是官方权威资料,剑桥雅思7》的作文题目和范文具有极高的参考价值,本文将从题目分析、范文结构、论证逻辑、语言表达等方面,详细解析其中一篇高分范文,帮助考生掌握写作技巧,提升得分能力。
回顾
《剑桥雅思7》Test 2 Task 2的题目如下:
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
(有些人认为每种犯罪都应有固定的惩罚,而另一些人则认为在决定惩罚时,应考虑犯罪的具体情况和动机,讨论双方观点并给出自己的看法。)
这是一道典型的“讨论双方观点+个人立场”题型,要求考生客观分析两种对立观点,并最终给出自己的结论。
高分范文解析
引言(Introduction)
范文开头直接回应题目,清晰表明讨论的核心问题:
"The question of whether criminals should receive standardised punishments or whether judges should consider individual circumstances is a complex one. While fixed penalties ensure consistency, flexible sentencing allows for fairness in unique cases."
亮点分析:
- 用“complex”一词表明问题的争议性,避免绝对化表述。
- 用“while”对比两种观点,体现平衡讨论的要求。
- 未在开头直接给出个人立场,符合“讨论类”题型的写作规范。
主体段1:支持固定惩罚的观点
范文首先阐述支持固定惩罚的论点:
"Proponents of fixed punishments argue that this approach guarantees equality before the law. If all offenders convicted of the same crime receive identical sentences, there can be no accusations of bias or discrimination. Moreover, predetermined penalties may deter potential criminals, as they know exactly what consequences they will face."
论证技巧:
- 法律平等性:强调固定惩罚能避免司法偏见。
- 威慑作用:明确惩罚可减少犯罪意图。
- 使用“proponents”“moreover”等衔接词,使逻辑流畅。
主体段2:支持个案考量的观点
范文转向另一种观点:
"On the other hand, those who advocate for flexible sentencing point out that crimes are rarely identical. For instance, a theft committed out of desperation to feed one’s family differs significantly from one motivated by greed. Ignoring such nuances could lead to unjust outcomes, particularly for vulnerable individuals."
论证技巧:
- 举例论证:用“theft”的具体案例说明动机差异。
- 社会公平:强调僵化惩罚可能伤害弱势群体。
- 使用“on the other hand”“for instance”自然过渡。
主体段3:个人立场与综合论证
在分析双方观点后,范文给出作者的折中立场:
"While fixed punishments offer administrative simplicity, a rigid system fails to address the complexities of human behaviour. A balanced approach might involve establishing baseline penalties for crimes while permitting judges to adjust sentences within a defined range, depending on mitigating or aggravating factors."
亮点分析:
- 折中方案:提出“基准惩罚+浮动范围”的解决方案。
- 务实态度:承认固定惩罚的行政便利性,但强调灵活性必要。
- 避免极端化表述,体现批判性思维。
Conclusion)
结尾重申核心观点,简洁有力:
"Ultimately, the justice system must strive for both consistency and fairness. By combining structured guidelines with judicial discretion, society can achieve punishments that are neither arbitrary nor insensitive to individual realities."
技巧总结:
- 用“ultimately”引出结论,自然收尾。
- 强调“consistency and fairness”的双重目标,呼应开头。
- 避免重复前文,而是升华讨论。
语言表达与语法亮点
-
学术词汇的精准使用
- “standardised punishments”“mitigating factors”等术语体现专业性。
- 避免口语化表达,如用“offenders”代替“criminals”提升正式度。
-
复杂句式的灵活运用
- 条件状语从句:“If all offenders... receive identical sentences...”
- 让步状语从句:“While fixed punishments offer..., a rigid system fails...”
-
被动语态的恰当使用
“sentences should be adjusted”符合学术写作习惯。
考生常见误区与改进建议
-
误区1:立场模糊或摇摆
- 错误示范:在主体段中反复改变观点。
- 改进方法:像范文一样,先客观讨论双方,最后明确个人立场。
-
误区2:论证缺乏例子
- 错误示范:只写“固定惩罚更公平”,却不解释原因。
- 改进方法:学习范文用“theft”案例具体化抽象论点。
-
误区3:衔接生硬
- 错误示范:用“first, second”机械连接段落。
- 改进方法:模仿范文的“moreover”“on the other hand”等自然过渡词。
实战应用建议
-
拆解官方范文
将范文按“论点-论据-拆分,制作思维导图。
-
限时模仿写作
用相同题目练习,完成后对比范文修改。
-
积累话题词汇
整理“crime and punishment”相关词汇(如deterrent, recidivism, rehabilitation)。
雅思写作的高分关键在于逻辑清晰、论证充分、语言准确,通过精研《剑桥雅思7》的范文,考生可以掌握议论文的核心技巧,避免常见错误,在考场上展现出符合E-A-T原则(专业性、权威性、可信度)的写作能力。