示例**

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen, but it did not work. You phoned the store, but no action was taken. Write a letter to the store manager.

• Explain the situation
• Describe the problem
• Say what you would like the store to do

高分范文

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with a recent purchase from your store and the subsequent lack of resolution. Last week, I bought a food processor (Model: XYZ-2000) from your branch on Main Street, intending to use it for preparing meals at home. Unfortunately, upon testing the appliance, I discovered it was defective.

The issue became apparent when I attempted to blend ingredients, but the motor emitted a loud grinding noise before shutting down completely. I followed the instruction manual carefully, ensuring proper assembly, yet the problem persisted. Given that the product was brand new, I expected it to function correctly.

Immediately, I contacted your customer service team to report the issue. The representative assured me that someone would get back to me within 24 hours, but three days have passed without any response. This delay has caused significant inconvenience, as I had planned several recipes requiring the food processor.

I kindly request that you either replace the faulty item with a fully functional one or issue a full refund. Additionally, I hope your team can improve communication to prevent similar situations in the future. Please confirm the next steps at your earliest convenience.

I appreciate your attention to this matter and look forward to your prompt reply.

Yours sincerely,
Li Hua

写作技巧解析

结构清晰，符合书信格式

雅思记叙类作文通常要求正式或半正式书信格式，范文包含：

• 称呼（Dear Mr. Smith）
• （说明写信目的） 描述问题、表达不满、提出诉求）
• （礼貌表达期待回复）

语言简洁，避免冗余

高分作文避免复杂句式堆砌，而是用精准的词汇直接表达意思。

• “The motor emitted a loud grinding noise before shutting down completely.”（描述问题）
• “This delay has caused significant inconvenience.”（表达影响）

语气恰当，避免过于情绪化

正式书信需保持礼貌，即使表达不满也应克制，范文使用“I kindly request”而非强硬措辞，既表明立场，又体现尊重。

逻辑连贯，细节具体

考生常犯的错误是泛泛而谈，缺乏细节，范文明确写出：

• 产品型号（XYZ-2000）
• 购买地点（Main Street branch）
• 问题表现（电机异响后停止工作）
• 沟通记录（客服承诺24小时回复但未履行）

这些细节增强说服力，让阅卷人认可内容的真实性。

常见错误及改进建议

错误1：格式不规范

• 问题：忽略称呼或结尾格式，如写“Hi Manager”或直接结束。
• 改进：严格遵循正式书信格式，使用“Dear [Name]”和“Yours sincerely”等标准表达。

错误2：内容空洞

• 问题：只写“The product didn’t work”，缺乏具体描述。
• 改进：详细说明故障现象、使用场景及造成的影响。

错误3：语气不当

• 问题：使用愤怒或威胁性语言，如“I demand immediate action!”
• 改进：用“I would appreciate your assistance”等礼貌表达，既坚定又专业。

个人观点

雅思记叙类作文的高分关键在于“真实感”，考生需想象自己确实处于题目情境中，写出自然、具体的细节，语言要简洁流畅，避免刻意堆砌高级词汇，多练习不同场景的书信写作，培养快速组织内容的能力,考试时便能从容应对。